Now let me jump ship of this and share my conversation with my precious Kaidi. She was using the bathroom today and I was in there trying to get the boys out of the way and she was kicking her little feet and I said, "are you done, baby?" and she says, "No, Mama, I was singing a song about Brayden and Kenadi!" I reply, "Really? Will you sing it again for me?" I move to the side of the tub and find a seat while she twirls toilet paper around her finger. "No, Mama, I am too tired and I'm trying to poo poo! But it was about them at the beach and now they are in Heaven because they got in Nanas pool without help and died and they live up in the sky.". My eyes start filling with tears and she asks me why I am sad. I explained to her that I really missed them and how I wished she could have met them and how big they would be now and how much fun they would all be having driving Mama crazy. She then told me, "Mama, it's ok because one day we are gonna go up and see them in Heaven, they won't come back down here." I told her 3 times in a row, "You are so special and God sent you to mama and daddy at the perfect time!" I wanted her to hear that over and over again. I cannot tell you the things this child has done to heal the cracks and holes in our shattered hearts. She is such a Godsend and has blessed so many lives by her contagious smile and precious words that literally prick the heart. She helps me remember how special Brayden and Kenadi were. I see so much of both of them in her. I am thankful for the 2 years and 2 months that God gave me those precious babies. They changed my life. They changed my life while they were alive by molding me into the carefree mother I am and I have been changed after their death. I have become a woman of strength who truly knows what faith and hope are all about.
I want to say thank you to all of you who have prayed for my family over the past 4 years. Thank you for calling out to God on our behalf and keeping us constantly in your thoughts. On our tough days and on just regular days. The power of prayer is moving and I am thankful for it. I have developed friendships with people at just the right times. Even if it was just for a moment, it was for a reason and I never forget the impact different people have had on our lives and in our grieving.
I feel like I say this often, but I'm hoping to blog more, maybe you will see more out of me in the future. :) July was a ROUGH month for me. I was sick for 3 weeks and in and out of doctor's offices and hospitals. Didn't know Mono could be SO tough to deal with. Thankfully I am back to normal now and looking forward to hitting August wide-open! :) Have a blessed weekend. I plan to do absolutely NOTHING for once this weekend... well, we do have a double date with some friends of ours planned for dinner at Olive Garden and Red 2 tomorrow night, so other than that, NOTHING! :)
“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23