I have completed Kaidi's registration for ISR. We will begin classes on July 12 at 8:30 in the morning for 3 weeks. I am a little anxious about this. This is so important for Kaidi to learn, but how am I going to react. We have been swimming with her and she loves to play in the bathtub. She has the same love for the water that Brayden and Kenadi had. It delights my soul but it also terrifies me. Did I make the water too fun and not instill enough fear and caution in them about it? I feel that I did. I was always VERY adamant about their safety around water. I also allowed them to experience the fun that I always had in the water. I have always loved swimming. For as long as I can remember I have loved it. When I was in elementary school, we lived 2 blocks from the city pool and I spent every day there if it wasn't closed. As I got older, I started to develop a passion for lifeguarding and can remember throwing weights in the bottom of my aunts pool and "rescuing" them as if I would a swimmer. When I got old enough, I became a lifeguard for our city parks and rec. and lifeguarded for 3-4 years at a local pool. I have jumped in and saved a few struggling swimmers in my time as a lifeguard. Thankfully, never had to perform CPR on any of them. I always had a fear that I would run off in to a body of water on my car and not be able to get my kids out. No lie. I always told Gregg of that fear. "What would I do?, There was 2 babies in my backseat, how would I get them both out to safety" I always feared that. Gregg bought me some kind of tool for my car that is on my keychain that in case of an incident like that, i could cut my seatbelt, and bust the window. Something that I am going to have to face with these lessons is that the last 2 days of these lessons fall on the day of the accident and Kenadi's death and the day of Brayden's death. 2 days that I have come to cringe at the thought of as they near. The 29th is the last day that I will be able to look back and say "this time last year we did this with the twins" The horrific reminder approaches far too quick for me. Some people can't believe it's been a year, seems to them like it was yesterday and yeah, i can recollect the events of that week like it was yesterday, but it feels like forever since i held my babies. Since I heard Momma from their mouths.
The American Red Cross is going to be holding a blood drive in memory of Brayden and Kenadi on the 30th of July. I am going to ask all who can and will to please go and support this blood drive by donating blood. I will give more details as the date gets closer. Just mark it on your calendar!
Hope you all have a wonderful week.