I wrote the above post yesterday and never got the videos added so I decided to add to the same post. I got a call yesterday afternoon from the monument place. The headstone was finished and he had it set up at the cemetery. I went and took a few pictures of it. The etching doesn't look just like them to me, but it's a great job. Of course, me being their mother, I can see the differences. Now we just got to get the flowers in it.
April 29, 2010
There are so many things running through my mind this week. I feel very zombie like this week. I have had horrible dreams the past 2 nights. I would wake and run to Kaidi's room worried that something was wrong. Last night I dreamed I buried a baby. I guess with having the miscarriage on Monday has caused this but when I woke this morning I prayed for God to give me good thoughts in my sleep from now own. I have been thinking alot about the twins lately. It seems somedays I can't keep my mind off of them. It is so hard to believe their third birthday is next Sunday and they aren't here. I talked with my aunt yesterday about the flowers for their grave. Their headstone was delivered to the monument place yesterday and Gregg and I went to check on the etching. It's beautiful. The black granite is perfect with their photo on it and the vases that will go on each side are so elegant looking. I was very proud of it for them. I have decided to do gerbera daisies on their grave for their birthday. Kenadi's vase will have pink, yellow and orange and Brayden's will have red, yellow and orange. The bright colors reminded me of them and the liveliness that they once brought to our lives. I miss them so much, everyday. I love to pull up their videos and watch them over and over again and remember them. I feel as though I am forgetting them with each passing day. This 9 months is the LONGEST 9 months of my life, or at least the part without them in it is. I am sure that doesn't make sense, but Kaidi will be 5 months old Saturday and that has flown by but today marks the 9 month anniversary of the accident and it seems like ages since I held my Brayden and Kenadi. Here are my 2 favorite videos. One of Brayden, one of Kenadi. We don't have many of Kenadi but I like this one because she is so sweet in it. She called Brayden "dd" we never knew why but she says "I love dd, all the world" she says it after saying she loves her daddy, but she did Brayden on her own. :) and then the video of Brayden was just one summer day and I was trying to get him to say that I was having a girl (Kaidi). I love it because at the beginning he says "MY BABY" I will be happy to show that to Kaidi one day down the road.