December 8, 2009

Posty! (couldn't really think of a title)

I know it has been too long since I posted last. You know that I am super busy holding and loving on this sweet blessing of mine! :) She is just precious! We dressed her up in her Alabama onsie, hat and socks saturday to help her pull the tide through with a wonderful win over the Florida Gators! We had to take her to get weighed and her bilirubin count checked again Sunday morning over at the hospital in Andalusia. She weighed 6lbs 4 oz on Friday at the doctor, and her bilirubin # was 10. Well PRAISE GOD she gained up to 6,9 and her bilirubin was 5! :) I was so happy! She has been a real good baby so far! She sleeps a LOT during the day and gets up about once or twice a night, depending on when we go to sleep. usually she is up between 2 and 3 and then again between 6 and 7 so it's really not too bad! I am enjoying every bit of it. Even though I am super sleepy sometimes, I love holding her and just staring at her. She looks so much like Brayden to me with Kenadi's complexion. Kenadi always had the prettiest complexion. It is so hard for me to believe how tiny she is. I was expecting a big baby! I love it though! :) Gregg and I have had some emotionally times and I know that our hurt will never go away, but at least we do have something to hope in and hope for again. I have had a pretty emotional day today. I have missed them terribly and am going through all the same "why" questions that come around every so often. I went in to their room today to get some extra hangers out of the closet in there and it just smelled so stale in there. Like a storage room. I sat on Brayden's bean bag and just cried. I wish so badly this wouldn't have happened. I changed Kaidi's diaper today and was thinking of how she was going to be as a big sister when we decide to have another one and my heart broke. I always wanted a boy the oldest so he could protect his younger siblings. I had that, I don't anymore. I know I will encounter many more obstacles and struggles of what we could have had or what could have been. I just try to push them back and look forward to what lies ahead. I prayed over Kaidi the other night. I asked God for his hand of protection over her and for her to live a long, healthy, happy, sucessful life.
Don't worry, I will add photos in the next post! :)


ashpuck said...

I can't imagine the fear that must enter your mind. I'm so glad you love the Lord and know that you can turn to him in your time of need. I'll continue to pray for you and your sweet family.


Stephanie said...

I can't wait to see pictures. I am so glad that things are going well, and glad that she only gets up twice a night. I hope our new one will be that good!

What you wrote about B being the older brother broke my heart, but take it from a big sister - they are pretty protective of younger siblings when they need to be. I bet Kaidi is going to be the best big sister one day. She is going to be just as protective over her little brother or sister. It will be a really sweet relationship!

I am sure you miss B & K so much. I can just imagine them in Heaven, looking down and bragging on how cute their little sis is! You are so strong Meredith, even on your hard days, because you really do have an amazing faith and love for God!

I'm praying for you three!

Unknown said...

I am crying with you.
Oh how my heart aches for you. I really do think of you constantly. You are so SO brave.
I hope Kaidi continues to bring you so much joy.

Much much love, and prayer,


Sarah said...

You have been on my mind so much the last week. I can't even begin to imagine the emotions you are feeling right now. B & K are smiling down on you guys and will always watch over Miss Kaidi. Your strength is so inspiring even in your weakest moments. Trust in Him. God Bless your beautiful family.

Myself said...

You do know that your big brother oldest boy is in the BEST position to watch over and protect his younger siblings, right? I mean having a brother who can beat people up and take a baseball bat to the car of the guy that broke your heart is nice and all, but having an ANGEL IN HEAVEN with a DIRECT LINE TO GOD is better. While little brothers (from experience) can take baseball bats (or hockey sticks) to the car of the guy who broke your heart, a brother in heaven can almost literally move mountains.

Heather said...

So happy for you with your wee one. Enjoy her and remember that she has those two older siblings watching her. How is your Mom doing with all of this?