November 13, 2009

IDK

Yesterday, I had a pretty busy day. Gregg's bank wanted to have a baby shower for us so I headed to Opp on my lunch break and ate lots of great finger foods with his co-workers. They gave us a baby tub full of all kinds of baby goodies like diapers, wipes, tylenol, crib sheets, mirrors, toys and a gift card. It was a wonderful gift from them and great fellowship. I got back to work and the day seemed to drag on forever until 5:00! Finally, I was able to head home and had dinner plans with my mom and sister last night. We drove to Enterprise and went out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays and then stopped in at Big Lots and Cato before swinging in to the DQ for a vanilla cone that was OH SO YUMMY!! I came in and put away the few things that I had received that day. It is so hard to believe that Kaidi will be here in 18 days! I am excited and nervous. I have GOT to pack my hospital bag!! I have packed hers (probably 10 times already) but I have to throw me a few things in a bag too! :) It was hard getting to sleep last night. I constantly saw Brayden and Kenadi standing there by my bed as I lay and wonder about what we would be going through with them right now if they wouldn't have died. How long would Kenadi's hair be? Would it have gotten curlier? Would Brayden be smarter than a 5th Grader? Would he still be the little "Mama's boy" that he was 3 months ago? I couldn't get them out of my mind. I finally had to just sit there and think about something off the wall to get me to sleep. I woke up to the sound of Gregg weeping at 4:30 this morning and my heart just broke for him. I knew his pain. I have a horrible headache from the amount of crying through the night and am honestly just ready for the work day to be over so I can go home and sleep! As I was pulling in to work this morning a song was on the radio and I just put my car in park and closed my eyes. It was so hard not to feel the presence of the Lord upon you when you hear this song. I am gonna attach it below and ask you to take a minute to turn it up loud, close your eyes and just be still and feel God come upon you and comfort you in whatever situation you are going through. This song is awesome. I have heard it many times and it always just stops me in my tracks and I call out to God! He is what I hold on to and I know that He is always there when I need Him the most. "YOUR NAME IS JESUS! YOUR NAME IS JESUS. YOUR THE WONDERFUL, COUNSELOR, MY FRIEND. YOUR WHAT I HOLD ON TO, I KNOW THAT YOU BROUGHT ME THROUGH ALL THE DAYS OF LOSS TO THE CROSS YOU KNEW THAT I'D NEED A SAVIOR"
Oh it is just beautiful, the love that Jesus has for us!

5 comments:

Heather from Ontario Canada said...

I'm sending cyber (((hugs))) to you. I know they won't help your pain but perhaps help just a tiny little bit.

Sarah said...

I had goosebumps reading your post today. My heart just aches for you guys. Still praying for you and Gregg daily. God Bless.

I bet you guys are getting excited to meet that beautiful baby girl in less then 3 weeks!!! :):)

Stephanie said...

Such a great post! Great song!

Can't wait to see baby Kaidi...

Niki said...

Great post...thanks for posting great songs as well...I enjoy listening to them :) I'm sorry to hear you and Gregg had a rough night and hope you will have a better one tonight. I HATE that you guys have to go through this!! Wish there was something I could do for you both. I like "Heather from Ontarios" idea of cyber hugs...so here is a few more (((hugs))) :) Still praying for you guys all the time...hoping Miss Kaidi will bring you joy in such a difficult time. I know you will never forget the pain of what you are going through but I pray the Lord can ease that and flood your heart and mind with wonderful memories. Have a good weekend ~ thinking of you~

prashant said...

Such a great post! Great song!
Work from home India