The Food table!
The yummy cake!
All the goodies BEFORE! :)
Opening presents. This is Kaidi's coming home outfit that Delicia got her. :) Thank Delicia!
All the goodies AFTER! :)
My hostesses: (back l-r) Toyia, Lindsay, Amanda and Jan
(front l-r) Kelly, Me, Ashton and Tabitha
Me and Ashton. Ashton is my "BFF" and is having a little girl, Caroline, in January. I can't wait for Kaidi and Caroline to grow up together and be great friends like we are! :)
Kaidi's AdOrAbLe Car Seat cover that you can find HERE
Some of the monogrammed goodies.. She will spit up and burp in style! :)
All Stacked up on the love seat.
Some of her toys
This came from Gregg's bank. They gave us a lil shower one day during lunch and had this baby tub filled with all sorts of things.
This is a cute bag that I got this past Sunday from someone and I filled it up already with the stuff for Kaidi that I am taking to the hospital! :)
I am so excited and anxious and nervous and excited (did i say that already?) for Kaidi to get here. I think I have everything ready with the exception of few things. I have made a "Last minute Grab Items" list that we will have to throw in the suitcase just in case I go in to labor before December 1. The very first item on that list is the video camera! We forgot it when I went in to labor with Brayden and Kenadi and I want to make sure we have it this time. I would go ahead and pack it in the car, but Gregg uses it when he goes hunting so I just have it on standby! :)
Gregg and I had a little bit of a talk last night about Miss Kaidi. We both felt a little convicted because we haven't really looked at her with the excitement that she deserves. We are excited, but it has been more on a "what she can do for us" kind of excitement. We haven't really thought about all we get to share with her. I think we have started thinking of her more as our little girl now instead of our band-aid! It is hard, it's as if we are afraid to call her our baby girl because that has been Kenadi's title for so long. We both know that she will not be replacing Brayden and Kenadi, but we also don't want to take away anything from them. I opened Kenadi's baby book last night to put her little Bible in it that her Uncle Adam, Aunt Heather and Addison had given her. I also came across her "soothie" pacifier that she had when she was a baby. It still had a pink dot on it from where I marked it so we could keep it separate from Braydens. As I sat there with her baby book opened, I flipped to the section that had all the stuff stuck in it. Her "unofficial" birth certificate with the tiny little feet prints on it. They were so small. I couldn't stop the tears as I sat there and thought how wrong it was that I had sat the very night before and looked at her death certificate. The time of her death, the cause of death, the very hospital where she was brought into this world was the very hospital that she left this world. I opened Brayden's book to put his Bible in there and there sat his first lock of hair. It was so much lighter in color than the hair clippings from the funeral home. In the book, it had a place on there asking what my wishes for him were and I had written, "To be healthy, happy, smart and to stay young forever" Those words constantly pierced my heart. I didn't really mean it God. I have noticed myself constantly watching what I say now, in fear that God will take it literal. I know that God was in no way allowing that to happen all because I wrote that in each of their baby books when they were a month old, but it does hurt to think that I ever said that. I may have mentioned this before in a previous blog, I am unsure, but right after Brayden passed away, I remember breaking down over something that I had said many months before. I told Gregg that I wanted to have another baby because I wanted to see what it was like to have one little baby instead of two. And that immediately came to my mind after the realization that I was only gonna have one little baby in my house. Why do words come back and haunt you sometimes? Or even little sayings have a completely different meaning to me now. My friend Ashton and I had a yardsale about a month or 2 back and she had a piece of wall decor that said, "A moment in my arms, forever in my heart" and most people would look at that and think about how quickly their babies grow up. I look at it and see how quickly mine were taken from me and the only place I have them now is in my heart. Words are so powerful and touching and heartbreaking.