October 30, 2009

Getting Ready for Shannan Road

This is the week after we purchased the lots in July of 2008.
                  This picture was taken 2 weeks ago. I have another picture that looks even better, but it is not on my computer. :)

It is so hard to believe that we have finally reached this point with building our house. We are starting NEXT WEEK! NEXT WEEK! WOW! I mean, I know some of you are probably thinking "it's about time" but it is crazy how quick this has moved from a few months to a few days. Last night Gregg and I picked out all the colors of everything except the ceramic tile, marble and granite. I am hoping that we made good choices and a little nervous about the "big picture" of things. I am super excited about Kaidi's room. Of course it is going to be PINK! :) and she is going to have her own bathroom that will also be pink and a walk in closet. I can't wait to get things together for her room. Gregg and I are planning on doing a belly cast in the next few weeks to paint and hang as a piece of artwork in her bedroom. I have also painted her a hairbow holder and bought wooden circles to paint each letter of her name on to match the baby bedding and I am gonna hang it from some old drawer pulls that came off a dresser that Gregg just finished sanding and repainting. It's exciting! It was also very sad only putting neutral colors in the rooms that were suppose to be Brayden and Kenadi's. It is sad thinking of moving anything in their room. Sad thinking of putting anything in to storage. I did put up all the clothes that were hanging in their closet last weekend. It wasn't easy. I knew that little by little would be easier than all at one time. It was hard seeing all the clothes that were in there that they had not worn yet because it was for fall or Christmas. A shirt that Gregg and I bought for Brayden the week before the accident still had the tags on it. I get so angry and just want to throw everything across the room. It's not fair and it hurts so bad. I slept with one of their pillows the last two nights. Gregg's sister had spent the night with us Wednesday and I had to loan her mine so I grabbed one of theirs out of their cribs. Gregg came in there last night and asked if I was gonna put Kenadi's pillow back since Angel wasn't there and I shook my head no. I wanted to hold on to it another night... I laid there and I was thinking "this is not Kenadi's pillow anymore, nothing in that room belongs to them anymore they have NOTHING on this Earth" it hurt so bad the realization of reality. We feel they have all this stuff still and it is so hard to do anything with it because as long as it is in their room just as they left it, we feel like a part of them is still here. I know that we are going to have to do it soon. Sooner than we want to with us moving in to the new house, but I do NOT look forward to it. I know that it is going to be very hard and emotional. All this going on and the holidays coming up is going to be a lot of heartache. I am really not into the holidays. I am excited about going to the mountains, but I don't feel excited about buying presents for anyone or decorating or baking... really just have no desire to get into the Christmas spirit! I hope that will all change over the next few weeks because there is the greatest reason in the world to celebrate this time of year. The marvelous birth of Jesus. I love reading the Christmas story every year. I am ready to read it to Kaidi. :) Wow I have really jumped off of the house subject.. I will be sure to post pictures up of the progress.. I am sure it will be on a weekly basis. I will have to wait until the weekends to take my pictures because the time changes Sunday and it will be dark by the time I get home in the afternoons.  I hope you all have a wonderful, Spooktackular Weekend! :) Happy Halloween! 


Mary Ann said...

I am so excited to read about your new home. Sound so exciting!! I'm sure your new baby will be such a blessing to you. She will never replace your twins but I'm sure she will help to comfort your heart. Thank you for sharing your heart here with your blog friends. We care!!

Teach said...

You may have already read about Cora and her parents, but if not, you need to read this. They went on a Respite Retreat for couples who have lost a child. I thought of you when I read her blog about it. Praying for you and your sweet family.


Terri said...

Happy that you found the Jeep Commander that you wanted. I'm glad that Aunt Becky was able to go stand guard at the dealership and make sure no one bought the car before you could get there. I'm excited about your shower on Sunday. I can't wait to see what all you get for Kaidi. I went by your lot today, it sure has changed alot since I saw it last. Looks good!!! Will look even better when you get the house on it. Love you baby girl! See you Sunday.

Anonymous said...

Preying for you and Greg

Marie said...

Happy New House! I'm so glad to hear you excited. I can't imagine that your pain will ever go away completely but it's awesome to hear you talk excitedly about the future (which we know includes seeing your angels again one day). :)